Occasionally things pop up on Facebook and elsewhere, on the subject of IQ. They make me feel a little tetchy. Why? Because I already believe that we live in a society that totters precariously on its collective left brain, while allowing its right brain to atrophy in a jar; that IQ tests are culturally biased (Aboriginal kids do not, as a rule, fare well in them). And because, all too often, what is missing from the topic of achievement and genius, is a parallel discussion of emotional intelligence and what that means for the planet.
Don't get me wrong- my brother is a Mensa candidate and I myself was an academic high achiever, even early in life- in advanced everything, dux of primary school, and the recipient of a swag of awards in various subjects throughout high school. I know myself to be a skilled and natural teacher, which is reflected in the High Distinctions I achieved for units in a post-graduate teaching diploma...yet I ran from it screaming, unable to complete the necessary study. I'm also an eclectic songwriter and have received a modicum of acclaim for it...yet apart from two EPs some years back, have baulked at recording my not inconsiderable archive of songs, allergic to the whole intense, studio experience. I have a number of manuscripts sitting waiting for submission, born of my love of the process of writing...but I am yet to become a best-selling author, since the process of getting published completely floors and bamboozles me.
I've been giving quite a bit of thought to this in relation to the notion of 'life purpose'. While I've carved out a reasonably satisfyingly creative life for myself, and am grateful for my little patch of the universe, I still don't think I've entirely found my niche, so I'm asking myself (not for the first time): "what, exactly, got between me and my potential?"
The short answer lies in the discover some years back that I am what is referred to as as a Highly Sensitive Person or HSP, one of a normal and healthy 15-20% of the population. Go here, here and here for some excellent information on the subject of HSPs and it's enlightening relationship to traditional notions about introversion and extroversion.
In a nutshell, being HSP means that no amount of academic success, in and of itself, ever helped me to survive and thrive in an overwhelming world. Indeed I made the difficult choice to 'de-institutionalize' myself , with the consequence that, while I do have something of a 'magical mystery tour' story to tell about what has happened since, I do not have the publically-recognized credentials one would expect of a smarty pants renaissance multi-talent, and indeed I am rather more of an underachiever than an overachiever, by many people's standards.
Having manoeuvered my way through an alien landscape as an adult, I've made the best of my life and responded to what life presented me with. Equipped with a greater awareness of my HSP nature, my history now makes total sense in a way that it didn't in earlier epochs, when I judged myself lacking. There were periods in my life when I didn't know that I was allowed to trust my own nature and intuition, instead of buying into ideas about success and failure, and what I 'ought to' have been able to do to survive. As a non-HSP, I might have made more purposeful choices, been rewarded with greater social approval and found a more 'successful' path. But I didn't. The question now is: am I satisfied, is it enough (for me) and what does that mean anyway?
No comments:
Post a Comment